Teresa J Conway 🧚🏻‍♀️
5 min readDec 27, 2020


When a person divorces once, it could have been anyone's fault. When a person has divorced twice and is struggling with a third, it makes me wonder what it is about the person.

I've read your comments and looked at your claps you've made since 2015 to get an idea of who you are. It seems you hold people to a very high account for their words and actions. You blame the poor in Chicago for defacing the great infrastructure you helped build them and conflated that with Syrian refugees, without acknowledging racism could have been a factor in the poverty you witnessed.

You argued and criticized the female author for her grammar. You were also upset with another female author when you thought she deleted your response to her article on the word fuck, however she hadn't done that, as I read both. You also took the time to point out the sport analogy errors in an article you agreed with.

In December of last year I noticed you started clapping for articles relating to sexuality, relationships, and advice on pleasing women. I suspect that's when this latest trouble started creeping into your new relationship.

You describe your wife as argumentative, bossy and emasculating. You were upset that a previous wife brought another man to her graduation for a degree you paid for, when she would obviously do that if you weren't together. You might have paid for the degree, but she did the work after all, and would want to celebrate that, and why wouldn't she?

You describe yourself in flattering terms and in looking at your picture, I see that you are attractive. That you felt you had to tell me you didn't mention the things you mentioned for praise is noteworthy. It is as if you expected the mere invocation of a long since passed Home Coming crown would somehow move me. That's not a critcism, but an observation - you seem to place a great deal of value on your worth, which seems to say - "I'm the perfect catch, why would anyone cheat on me?"

You remark - "oddly enough some said that I was too dominant and that "I had her living in my world."

That is telling. You state it but don't seem to believe it. What this statement says to me is you think you've given women everything they've wanted yet they resent you for it. Have you ever considered that you are too overwhelming? Could you be suffocating women by reminding them what you offer them?

In my very limited view of your life, from the outside you seem to offer a lot that would attract women. Once they are inside, however it seems to me the view is different and they have difficulty living with you because you dominate them. At first I'm sure it seems flattering, but then, likely very soon after marriage, it turns into control, and then suppression. I would suspect you do this by insisting your are right - even when you aren't - and failing to listen to them, but dismissing and criticising them for minor things that you then use to invalidate their premise. You call your new wife argumentative, but is she really, or just insistent you listen to her?

There's a reason she hasn't been giving you sex and criticising you when you do over this last 12-18 months. What do you think it is? Are you trying to dominate her and she's refusing to play the game by your rules?

That you would think showing your wife this article woudl be helpful is also a sign of a deeper issue. You don't feel appreciated and yes, that is why some men step out, but the only reason to show someone this article would be to say - "you better apprciate me or else!"

Let's say the article didn't take the turn you thought it would and you felt you could share it with her? How would you see that play out? If she has emasculated you like you've said, she would scoff at the jesture and laugh at you.

What I can't see is any woman saying - "oh, sorry dear, is that the way you feel? I'll change because I don't want you to have an affair?" Honestly, she would tear you to shreads.

Now, let me tell you why I think you believe there's a 4:1 ratio of female:male cheaters. The traditional numbers say men cheat more often than women, and that is certainly the common belief. The current thinking is men and women cheat in equal proportions and I tend to believe that.

I think your experience has given you a different idea that is neither supported in traditional nor current thought on rates of cheaters. Don't believe me, but look at the data. Your numbers aren't supported statistically.

I think that's because of two things. Firstly, men who are cheated on tend to seek comfort from other men who've been cheated on, which skews the data in favor of non-cheating men who were cheated on. Meaning your data is not based on a random sample, but heavily tainted by your bias and affiliation. I notice you clapped for one of Greyson Ferguson's articles - a man who made himself out to be a famous cuckold.

The second reason, and the one you are unlikely to accept, is you and your own conduct are likely reasons for your spousal cheating. As such, you may be experiencing higher levels of infideltiy than other men because while you can attract women, you really aren't good at keeping them.

Read my article - The Women Who Cheat to Leave. Not all women can simply say - "I'm done," and then leave. Some subconsciously find the exit in the arms of another man. It isn't an honorable exit, but it is an exit. For some men the only way they will let a woman go is if she's tainted by adultery. It gives him an excuse to get rid of her that allows him to save face and she gets to leave.

To summarize - you associate with men who've been cheated on and women cheat to leave your dominant personality.

If you are still here, do you want some good news? Your current wife is pushing back and putting you in the place she thinks you should be in. In being argumentative she is showing you where the boundaries are, and it stings you because you don't know how or want to stay inside them. She seems bossy to you because you are the one used to giving the orders. She emasculates you because you perceive her as dominant, whereas you feel that's the man's role.

Your other women cheated and left you because of your dominance. You didn't mention that she's cheated, so she probably hasn't. And that's the good news.

I'd recommend you stop trying to play the big man, stop telling her how good, and smart, and handsome and intellligent and whatever else you think you are as your way to show her how lucky she is, and start listen to her.

If you want to keep her or any other woman.

It's not her, or them - it's you. Start with yourself if you want to fix your problems with your wife.

PS - if your response mentions mistakes or grammar errors, or any other petty observation on how (not what) I've written this response we are done. Your penchant for correcting people shuts more doors than you know. You've asked for a response, and you've gotten it - focus on the substance not the style.

If you'd like to take this discussion to email I'm at teresa@tjconwayauthor.com

I also reserve the right to turn this answer into a story.