So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
Hello darlings,
Today, I’m writing my farewell post to Medium. It’s been quite a journey, and I’d like to share some of my thoughts and experiences with you all. I’ll keep my account open and may cross-post from time to time, but doubt it. This will be my final post original post. If things change, I’ll be sure to let you know.
I’m not going to flounce or take my toys and go home, but I will say a few things about this place. A place I loved.
In the beginning
I joined Medium because I followed my writing partner,
, here. We’d both written books and connected on Reddit’s r/adultery. I was looking for someone to review my draft, and she volunteered. She was one of the few who took the time to read it and give me feedback. A few months later, in May 2020, she started posting on Medium and sharing links on Twitter. Seeing the links, I asked her what it was and she told me what to do.Shortly thereafter, she started The Scarlett Letter, our publication dedicated to all things adultery. If I had to guess, today, it is the largest collection of adultery resources online in the world. If it had existed when I first started cheating, I doubt I would have ever written. It was the resource I needed, which is why I helped build it.
My best story
As for my own writing, one of my favorite pieces was about what it was like for a woman opening an Ashley Madison account. I called it, Can all the Gentlemen of Ashley Madison be this Stupid? I wrote it in 90 minutes, taking quotes from the messages men sent me and commenting on them. I did the same on their profiles. I was mean, cutting, and hilarious at the same time. It was so fun to put together and made me over $2000 and another $2000 in writer bonus money. Spring, 2021 was an amazing time on Medium for me! But, it didn’t last.
I loved the community
I have enjoyed the sense of a writing community most. While I’m predominantly a sex writer, I tend not to read sex stories. I prefer to read about culture and intersectionality. The summer George Floyd was killed, I spent a lot of time trying to understand the anger of Black Lives Matter. The writers I followed did a great job teaching me what I needed to know about the legacy of slavery and racism in the American context that summer. The wider point is the number of fantastic writers on Medium who are kind enough to share their knowledge. I particularly loved the women writers and the community within the community they’ve built here. Medium is a very social social media.
What I didn’t love
What I didn’t like was the platform’s bias towards young white male writers who pushed toxic positivity and $100 How to Make Me Rich courses. As if good vibes and some crappy video Medium how-tos could solve the world’s problems. I guess it could if you think having a bad sleep is a mental health challenge...but depression and suicidal ideation? Yeah, you’re not gonna wash those away with a coffee.
Things changed after
’s staff were served porn on Medium. That was good for stats, but embarrassing for the company. After that, the less cute sex writers were handed the short end of the algorithmic stick, and that was that. Did I expect a red carpet? No, but I didn’t expect to have the door slammed in my face.I brought in more than my fair share of paying customers and Medium was happy enough to take their money — they just didn’t show them my work. This is the way it goes when you don’t own the platform, so this isn’t a complaint. It’s more a partial explaination as to why I drew back. There were many other reasons, so it wasn’t just that. My best month here was over $2500, and while it wasn’t pocket change, it wasn’t life-changing.
The rhythm & connections
I loved the ebb and flow of the community as writers drifted in and out of my world. It was wonderful to watch writers I’d helped blossom.
in particular was amazing to watch grow into her own. There’s a lady, living a tough life, making the best of it, and writing from the heart. Always herself, without pretense, as her bio says. Indeed.There are too many to name.
But here’s one I will name —
. Another standout Medium star. Fun, funny, super smart and wise. A wonderful writer who I’ll continue to read. People like her make Medium what it is.What’s next
I’m moving to Substack to better position myself in case the movie project, based on my book, How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, takes off.
Check me out here — https://teresajconway.substack.com/
The visibility and exposure are better there. I also have control over my audience. I don’t have to wait and hope someone sees my post. They’ll get an email — that’s the whole point of the platform.
Thank you all!
I have learned everything I know about online writing on Medium from great writers sharing their knowledge, thoughts, and experiences. I soaked it all in and created my first writing business on Medium. I learned my trade here and took it to the next level. I will be forever grateful for the incubator Medium provided me.
Medium is a home I’ve loved, but I will no longer publish stories here.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
© Teresa J. Conway, 2024.
