On Bridgerton and Consent — Boy My Comment Sure Struck a Nerve
Spoiler Alert – It wasn’t rape and after 1K reads and 62 fans, people agree with me
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Did Daphne rape her husband, Simon?
No. She did not.
Before we get there, the word rape has too much baggage to work with. I’ll use the more modern term of sexual assault as I explain my position. Sexual assault removes the idea of a man committing a crime and diverts focus on the crime itself.
Upfront, I’ll point out that consent for any sexual act between people who can lawfully provide consent is required in all cases.
Who cannot give consent?
Children cannot consent to any sex act with an adult, so all that needs to be established is a sex act occurred. What either the victim or perpetrator says about consenting to the act or their belief there was consent is irrelevant — the same is true for adults with certain medical conditions that cause mental impairment. Unconscious people, or people impaired by drug or drink cannot give lawful consent either.
How do we give consent?
We give or withdraw consent in one of two ways:
1. Explicit consent —
“Yes, please, let’s do the sex,” or
“No, thank you, I do not wish to do the sex.”
2. Implicit consent —
He seems to enjoy me opening his belt and placing my hand inside his pants. He has said nothing or moved to stop me. He seems to react to the touch of my mouth on his penis well. Therefore, lacking additional information, I can form the reasonable belief he is implicitly consenting to this sexual act.
Or:
She has said nothing, but she brushed my hand away when I put it on her thigh; therefore, it would appear that she does not wish to be touched. If she does not want to be touched, likely, she will not consent to a sexual act, so I will not press the issue.
Consent can also be given and then withdrawn, either explicitly or implicitly:
